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time erases all things.

layout: detonatedlove♥
pictures: ohhspontaneityy
stocks: _excentric_

uh ppl i suggest u all come back another day. dis entry is utter crap. yupp. im serious.=D

hating someone is painful. nah dun get me wrong. i dun realli hate anyone. at most dislike. i dun wanna feel hatred for anybody. not nice not good. haha. im sick. sneezesneeze coughcough throat v pain oso.

why am i blogging like dis?

okok. if u're still here. i really encourage u to shooo now. dis instant. bye.

i spent quite some time folding all those stars. and more time pondering when shd i give, or shd i even give? i wonder if the old you is rewakened. cus if it is you wun care anymore, rite? everytime i see you i feel like running away. cus i dun want to see u ignore me as tho i'm not there. thts wad u told me two yrs ago. now im saying dis back to you. i really dun wanna carry on like dis. us not caring and jus ignoring each other's presence. it sucks, yknow? or mb it no longer matters to you. i dont noe.i jus dun wish to leave ahs without a proper ending. be it happy or sad i jus want to noe, does it still matters to you? well u appear to be happier nowadays. but are u really happy?

i was reading through them ytd. there was one during sec one. where u said " to me dear daughter!" a mixture of emotions swept through me and many flashes of images played in my head. how sharon and i we kept pestering you asking u for sweets and calling u papa. you gave us bothe lollipops on the first day of exams and mnms too. how petty i was and moved out of ur locker. u were the first guy tht invited me to yr b dae. nah not the first, the only guy acty. everytime we msg u wld ask me abt cho yt. even in the letters her name was not spared. tho i wasnt realli happy. it din bother me cus we're still communicating and talking even if its abt the gal u like and i was encouraging u to jio her. the happiness then defeated sadness flat down.

sec two. we drifted. yeah.. the first few months were horrible. i was so stressed up. i wanted to talk to you so much yet i cldnt bring myself to. and i found out abt legythien. i turned to jh. he was there for me. i started the daoing thing, u played along so well. tht at some point of time i asked myself. who is the one daoing and who is the one daoded? rmb tm? when i saw u wif her. my world stopped spinning for tht few seconds. literally. it took me tht long to register wad i saw. i cld still rmb tht exact feeling of how a sensation spread through my whole body. how you looked at me. how i smiled and said hello. how you looked away and looked down. how my heart broke. how hard it was to stop the buckets of tears frm pouring out in public. then u went new zealand. the sheep u bought for me was.. cute. i cherished it like ath. we were at the locker. and u had a awkward look on yr face. then u poked me and said "nah, for you" we started talking. the last few months of sec 2 were the happiest ever. thinking back now, it seemed too good to be true. i felt closer to you than i had ever been or will ever be. until one convo ended the fairytale. yes. i cried, badly. but i got up and carried on. u used to ask me "are you ok" so very often. and stare at me in class till i get so irritated/freaked/confused. i often wonder why did u do tht. till now, i've got no ans. ur every lil acyions wld put a smile on my face. " i trust my taste" "i have been staring at you throughout the whole thing" "more than a fren"..


sec 3 started out fine. again. sth had to happen to ruin it. sec 3 bonding camp. yeah i cried. cus i felt ur hurt. mb i was crying for you. im not sure. cus u once said tht u cldnt cry. tears cant flow. ever since then. we were no more than classmates. two ppl tht happened to be in the same class. up till now, things are still the same. just tht the gap between us is still expanding as the days go by. u've become more and more unreachable&i've become more and more moody.


last time i told you to stop asking me"u ok not?" now, wld u say tht again? wld u walk me home and go up to sixth floor wif me again? wld u still notice if im not ok and ask my frens abt it again? wld u sit at the swing wif me again? wld u move me away frm a car again? its ok. dun ans, im scared it wld be a no.


dis isnt called crap at all. its called feelings.

hello stranger(:



name's chuchu.
that's all you need to know if you're on a need to know basis(:



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