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time erases all things.

layout: detonatedlove♥
pictures: ohhspontaneityy
stocks: _excentric_

once in a while, i pour my feelings out here abit. &at times like this, i really dont care about whos reading my blog anymore, its a public blog afterall and i chose to post public. please bear with me since you made the choice typing out my url.

damn if i dont feel like i belonged at all.
damn if promos are so driving me up the wall cus i really am dead worried i'll retain.
damn if i cant help feeling so disgusted by certain people.
damn if i cant celebrate my birthday at all becus of some maths lecture test the next day.
damn if i dont have people around me i truly can relate to.
damn if im freaking bugged by the fact that im still blogging now.
damn if you cant accept me for who i am, no, scratch that, do you even know who i am or what im like?
damn if i miss anglican high sosoSO much.
damn if i miss my friends terribly.
damn if i need some company right now.
damn if im so insecure.
damn if you are just taking me for granted.
damn if you dont acknowledge my presence and just see me as transparent.
damn it all.

&the worst thing is, i cant walk away, i cant turn pull off the facade pretending like im not affected and be nonchalant about it. i know some people are trying, i really appreciate the effort, more than they would ever know. sometimes im think im not trying hard enough to socialise but then again, whats the point? friends click, you dont go up to someone and say" hey, can i be friends with you?" mrlim talked to mel today and, in a way poured out to her. i was really touched when i found out that they were concerned about us three. i think mrlim is trying to change, he said so himself too. but i really wonder, looking at the class, will they even notice, appreciate his efforts or respond at all? i should think not. he might not be anywhere near being the best teacher. but think about it, noone is perfect, he has his flaws too but as long as he apologises, whats the problem?&really, the only teacher i think our class would love is prolly someone who just imparts his/her knowledge and dont really care. hes pushing us but whats wrong with that? he might be naggy and tells granny stories but damn if this sounds cheesy, its for our own good. oh and please before you conclude, im no way in love with him. i just feel that we need to cut him some slack.


rawr/
maths session with wt wasnt really productive.talked more than the work we finished. &he has some affinity with weird old uncles and aunties. had dinner only at 9plus and by the time i reached home i was too tired to do anything.his rankpts makes me feel so demoralised. like uhm..he got 69? that is a whole 3-freaking-0 more than mine. i keep feeling that im deproving aft cts, yes. i thot it was so bad i cant drop any further but apparently i proved myself wrong. i failing every single lect test and everyone else is catching up and improving, where does that leave me. i thank God for having wt in sa. if not..shudders.whoa one whole para about him, hah, he must be honoured.

okay whatevers.
bye.
omg roy you still read my blog. omgomgomg. i feel stalked. hohums that sounds familiar, i wonder who said that before.

hello stranger(:



name's chuchu.
that's all you need to know if you're on a need to know basis(:



no.link.s.